37 weeks

Well now I am officially scared.... I have made it to 37 weeks and I have no idea what to do or what to expect from here on out... Everyday I wonder is today the day or how much longer am I going to go???? Do I need to get more motivated in getting Halloween outfits ready or do I wait???? I hate this to be honest :( I wish I knew what I needed to get done and what I can wait on.... I wish she would make it in time for Halloween but I am really not thinking she will so what do I do with all the cute stuff we got for her??? AAHHHHHAAAAHHHAAAHHH I took myself off of bed rest so I have been doing a lot more but nothing I mean nothing is happening... The day I took myself off the medicine is the day the contractions stopped:( Last week the doctor told I was dilated to a 3 but I think he just told me that cause I looked like crap and needed some good info!!! I try everyday to do something to put me into labor but nothing works:( Collin keeps telling me that a few more weeks won't hurt but he is not the one with swollen feet that hurt when I stand too long or hands that feel like I am getting arthritis in them. My back hurts and my hips hurt and I can't sleep at night cause I have to get up and pee every hour or every half hour. I have a head in my hip and a foot in my ribs and oh my where do I stop:( I know I am very lucky in a way that I have never had to deal with this last month of pregnancy stuff but at least you knew you had to deal with it and was never put on bed rest for 6 weeks of your life and miss out on everything your other kids were doing. And then to top it all off I end up still pregnant???? With of due date of when??? Who knows??? All of my plans have been moved and moved again... My poor kids don't know when they will ever have their mom back... Tonight Bridger is getting his arrow of light which is sooooo exciting cause I have to admit I was a little worried and so I am going of course and everyone will be asking how I am doing and wondering why in the world did I have to go down in the first place and why did I make them help me for so long if I was just going to get up and still not have a baby... This is so hard to not feel like I used all these people for so long to just be lazy and not have to do housework or cook meals or take Broxton to preschool or Branson to flag football or Bridger to scouts and chess club and hunters ed.... Wow this feels so good to get all this out!!!!! I just feel like screaming aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Hopefully my next post will be a more positive one!!!! One thing that is positive we have Bridger's room done!!!! The guys are laying carpet right now!!!! He will be so happy to finally have his own space!!!! I even got to paint one thing of trim so I can say I helped!!!!